I know it's been a while since I wrote about all the religious stuff, let alone anything.
But this post is not so much about religious experience as it is a realization for the
"real world."
I want to remind myself what I felt like 4 years ago in my 18-year old self, standing on a stage feeling the proudest I've ever felt, up until that point. Wearing the gown, suffering through a 3 hour ceremony with my 600 fellow graduates, I knew without any doubt that I was so ready for my life at Ithaca College. My "College Career" was about to begin. Scratch that, my "life" was about to begin.
so where was I at 18?- leaving everything behind me- about to embark on something totally strange. I had to completely start over. New friends. Not coming home after school or work to be with my family. Managing a totally new routine. And above everything else, really discovering who I was, what I was made of and what the hell I was going to do with my future.
The first word that comes to mind is CHALLENGE. I wanted it. I wanted to see where and who I was on the other side. I wanted to maintain the same relationships with my friends back home, and learn to trust the new friends I was making in a dorm. I wanted to stay in a relationship with someone who I had shared similar experiences with. I didn't want to lose my roots.
Well what happened? Those roots? they forced me to grow up! Thank God.
I realized the importance of separating myself from those who were holding me back, those whose ambitions were not on the same page as mine. Cutting ties, as they say. But not in a bad way-my friends were just people who made different choices about their futures at 18. And I learned to accept that that's okay. It's okay to have different ambitions because how boring would this planet be if we all made the same choices?
I made connections with people who made a new home for themselves in Ithaca, NY. People who left home so that they could grow up too even if it was difficult to leave.
I have never felt more reassured in the relationships I've made here. I have gained greater understanding about the pain others sometimes feel about change and not wanting to be a part of the inevitable transitions life brings.
I have learned that I cannot EVER change people, I can only motivate myself to live to my fullest potential and to always be encouraging to anyone struggling in their life.
Honesty. What else is there to say? Why be anything other than honest? Why hide how I really feel about someone or something? There is so much to gain from the truth.
I have opened myself up to lifestyles totally different from my own. I have forced myself to accept the differences in others and learned to appreciate talents different than mine.
I have realized the importance of an individual. Humans share so much in life, but each person has their own interpretation of an experience and how they learn or adapt to a situation.
I have gained patience-well it's better than before. I may not be described as a "patient person" per se, but I am learning to calmly approach a conflict or, a stupid person. Just take deep breaths.
Work. I have really forced myself to work. Work at my grades, to just finish that last paragraph 20 minutes before the 30 page research paper is due. Work to earn my own money so I could be independent and in charge of my social life and learn how to budget. Work at relationships. Work so others had confidence in my abilities to do each task well. Work, so at the end of the day I feel accomplished. And now, I know what I am capable of and I will never be or do any less than that.
Fun. Yes, seriously, who remembers the time they studied in a library over the time they went out for someone's birthday and the crazy adventure that ensued? not me. I will always make time to have these experiences. These are the stories for grandchildren. These are the stories that really made me.
My Friends. The friends I've made at Ithaca College are now, My Family. I couldn't be more blessed. These are the 3am stories that tied us together. Knowing I was never alone. Seeing the best in someone and being able to stick it through when we were at our worst. What an incredible experience to be able to enter a new place at 18 worried about what people thought and then emerge on the other side with a hugely extended Family.
My Family-the ones I share genes with.. I have learned to EMBRACE every.single.moment I have with them. I have never felt closer. Even with distance, and the inability to see each other every day, I know that no matter what mistakes I make they will always lift me up. Even though my brothers and I argue or disagree or live our lives totally differently I appreciate all their crazy talents and ability to ALWAYS make me laugh. I know that we are so different, but I wouldn't have it any other way. I would do anything for them and I cannot wait to see what they will become.
I learned what the importance of roots actually means. The only way you lose them, is if you don't grow.
So this past May, instead of walking across a stage, I sat in a chair. I did wear a gown, and I did suffer through an unbearably hot ceremony with my fellow graduates. But, that's not the point. The point is, I had yet another proud moment sitting in a field surrounded by people who were embarking on the same scary unknown. We are all in it together.
Now, I am at a similar point I was just 4 years ago. I am about to start over. I am going to build a new life in a new place as a better person than I was at 18.
I am so ready for the CHALLENGE. I am fearless. I will do whatever it takes to accomplish my goals. I am no longer apprehensive as to whether or not people will "like" me. I am who I am. I am proud. I am strong. I am ambitious. I will try to always learn from my mistakes. I will accept people for the way they are. I will trust in the relationships I've made for support and go with confidence out into this so called "real world."
But this post is not so much about religious experience as it is a realization for the
"real world."
I want to remind myself what I felt like 4 years ago in my 18-year old self, standing on a stage feeling the proudest I've ever felt, up until that point. Wearing the gown, suffering through a 3 hour ceremony with my 600 fellow graduates, I knew without any doubt that I was so ready for my life at Ithaca College. My "College Career" was about to begin. Scratch that, my "life" was about to begin.
so where was I at 18?- leaving everything behind me- about to embark on something totally strange. I had to completely start over. New friends. Not coming home after school or work to be with my family. Managing a totally new routine. And above everything else, really discovering who I was, what I was made of and what the hell I was going to do with my future.
The first word that comes to mind is CHALLENGE. I wanted it. I wanted to see where and who I was on the other side. I wanted to maintain the same relationships with my friends back home, and learn to trust the new friends I was making in a dorm. I wanted to stay in a relationship with someone who I had shared similar experiences with. I didn't want to lose my roots.
Well what happened? Those roots? they forced me to grow up! Thank God.
I realized the importance of separating myself from those who were holding me back, those whose ambitions were not on the same page as mine. Cutting ties, as they say. But not in a bad way-my friends were just people who made different choices about their futures at 18. And I learned to accept that that's okay. It's okay to have different ambitions because how boring would this planet be if we all made the same choices?
I made connections with people who made a new home for themselves in Ithaca, NY. People who left home so that they could grow up too even if it was difficult to leave.
I have never felt more reassured in the relationships I've made here. I have gained greater understanding about the pain others sometimes feel about change and not wanting to be a part of the inevitable transitions life brings.
I have learned that I cannot EVER change people, I can only motivate myself to live to my fullest potential and to always be encouraging to anyone struggling in their life.
Honesty. What else is there to say? Why be anything other than honest? Why hide how I really feel about someone or something? There is so much to gain from the truth.
I have opened myself up to lifestyles totally different from my own. I have forced myself to accept the differences in others and learned to appreciate talents different than mine.
I have realized the importance of an individual. Humans share so much in life, but each person has their own interpretation of an experience and how they learn or adapt to a situation.
I have gained patience-well it's better than before. I may not be described as a "patient person" per se, but I am learning to calmly approach a conflict or, a stupid person. Just take deep breaths.
Work. I have really forced myself to work. Work at my grades, to just finish that last paragraph 20 minutes before the 30 page research paper is due. Work to earn my own money so I could be independent and in charge of my social life and learn how to budget. Work at relationships. Work so others had confidence in my abilities to do each task well. Work, so at the end of the day I feel accomplished. And now, I know what I am capable of and I will never be or do any less than that.
Fun. Yes, seriously, who remembers the time they studied in a library over the time they went out for someone's birthday and the crazy adventure that ensued? not me. I will always make time to have these experiences. These are the stories for grandchildren. These are the stories that really made me.
My Friends. The friends I've made at Ithaca College are now, My Family. I couldn't be more blessed. These are the 3am stories that tied us together. Knowing I was never alone. Seeing the best in someone and being able to stick it through when we were at our worst. What an incredible experience to be able to enter a new place at 18 worried about what people thought and then emerge on the other side with a hugely extended Family.
My Family-the ones I share genes with.. I have learned to EMBRACE every.single.moment I have with them. I have never felt closer. Even with distance, and the inability to see each other every day, I know that no matter what mistakes I make they will always lift me up. Even though my brothers and I argue or disagree or live our lives totally differently I appreciate all their crazy talents and ability to ALWAYS make me laugh. I know that we are so different, but I wouldn't have it any other way. I would do anything for them and I cannot wait to see what they will become.
I learned what the importance of roots actually means. The only way you lose them, is if you don't grow.
So this past May, instead of walking across a stage, I sat in a chair. I did wear a gown, and I did suffer through an unbearably hot ceremony with my fellow graduates. But, that's not the point. The point is, I had yet another proud moment sitting in a field surrounded by people who were embarking on the same scary unknown. We are all in it together.
Now, I am at a similar point I was just 4 years ago. I am about to start over. I am going to build a new life in a new place as a better person than I was at 18.
I am so ready for the CHALLENGE. I am fearless. I will do whatever it takes to accomplish my goals. I am no longer apprehensive as to whether or not people will "like" me. I am who I am. I am proud. I am strong. I am ambitious. I will try to always learn from my mistakes. I will accept people for the way they are. I will trust in the relationships I've made for support and go with confidence out into this so called "real world."
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